This year I'm spending Thanksgiving at my dad's house in Southern California. I haven't spent Thanksgiving with him since 2003 and really the only reason I'm going down there this year is because my younger brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew are coming out from Hawaii and I'm going to surprise my brother by showing up on Thanksgiving morning.
My father and I don't have the best relationship. I'm not going to get into the details too much in this post because WOW. There's a lot to say about that. Another post (or 12) for another day. Basically, he and my stepmonster are pretty selfish people who think they are the greatest people to walk the earth. That may sound harsh, but it's true. There are some things I absolutely love about my dad, including his sense of humor and crazy cooking SKILLZ, but over the years I've come to accept that we will never have a close relationship. I'm totally ok with it.
While I'm excited to be heading down there next week, as usual the drama has begun. Since my sister-in-law and I are plotting the big surprise for my brother, we've had a plan set in place for a couple months. My flight arrives at 9:30 am, she was going to slip out with my niece to run some "errands" and pick me up at the airport. Well, we told my dad this and since he is not a part of this plan at all, he decided it wasn't going to work and is now planning on picking me up in his stupid Smart Car. I'm sorry, I'm all about the efficient gas mileage and low emissions, but have you SEEN those things? They are like DEATH cars. There is no WAY I'm getting in one. So I mentioned to him that he should probably talk to Megan about it since, you know, she was really excited about picking me up. He responded and basically said that Megan isn't smart enough or a good enough driver to figure out how to get to the god damn airport (even though my dad has an f-ing GPS).
I'm also making a delicious yam dish for Thanksgiving dinner (I'll post the recipe one of these days!) that involves fresh, real yams. Not the kind in the can which people use to make those disgustingly sweet yam casseroles with brown sugar and gooey marshmallow topping. Blech. So he sent me an e-mail asking what the recipe calls for so he can pick it up at the store and he said "How many cans do you need?" I told him very specifically I needed 8 to 10 REAL yams and what did he do? He bought CANNED FUCKING YAMS.
My father is also a career Navy man and a staunch Republican so I know he'll be chiming in on all things political. Luckily he'll be surrounded by a table of democrats who will have no problem shutting him down.
I'd like to say that I'm looking forward to this trip. And I am to a certain degree. My stepsiblings and their spouses and children will be there and I enjoy their company. Having my brother and his family there will also be wonderful. I just hope that the joy of Thanksgiving won't be clouded by my father's behavior. I also hope there will be valium.
10 comments:
Okay so I'm reading this post thinking I'll comment with something cheery like "well it wouldn't be a holiday without crazy family drama," but I can't even say that anymore because I'm laughing so hard. "..a table of democrats who will have no problem shutting him down," and "I also hope there will be valium."
I have to go catch my breath.
Awww, thank you for putting it into perspective for me :-) I know it'll be a fun trip, despite all the drama, and you're SO right. Crazy family drama is what the holidays are all about! Glad I could keep you entertained ;-)
Half a T3+a glass of wine makes a great homemade valium ;)
It'll all work out in the end. Mashed potatoes and gravy eases all polical tensions, fact.
I say screw So-Cal, fly to Sac and hang out with MEEEEE. Or, I'll mail you a Valium and eagerly away your blog posts.
Meghan, I will definitely keep that in mind! And you're so right about mashed potatoes and gravy. They make everything right in the world.
Amy, I'm actually going to be fairly close to you on Sunday and Monday after Thanksgiving - I'll be in the Fairfield/Vacaville area!
Sounds like the trip is going to be intense! I hope it all works out.
And I totally agree about the Smart car. Cute, but basically equivalent to driving a desk chair down the highway. Plus, where would your luggage go?
It sounds like a sustained 4-day drunk is in order to make it through this trip. Besides, once you've gotten him drunk, you can Sharpie "I ♥ Obama" across his face.
Wait, you said your dad has "crazy cooking SKILLZ" and yet he bought you canned yams? I'm sorry, but I'm a wee bit confused. In my world, those two don't go hand in hand. =)
Focus on the positive parts of your relationship and when in doubt, go sit at the kids table with your niece and nephew!
I've never had a dramatic Thanksgiving dinner.... I think it would be SLIGHTLY fun to have one, but only in retrospect...
Jess, I'm hoping that it ends up being a really fun trip. There should be enough people there to sort of dilute my dad. And THANK YOU for agreeing with me about the Smart Car! Freaks me out!
Jay, you are brilliant.
Nilsa, I laughed out loud when I read your comment because I didn't even think about that! He really is a fantastic cook and uses fresh ingredients in most of his food, but you are so right! And I will definitely be sitting at the kids table most of the time. :-)
Angela, it definitely makes for some interesting stories! It can be tough to endure but if you drown yourself in gravy it's not so bad.
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